


Diamond Heart

by daiyu_amaya



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Consensual Non-Consent, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, M/M, Mental Anguish, Rare Pairings, Secret Identity, Secret Identity Fail, Secret Relationship, Spy Jedi, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-10 18:16:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18665752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daiyu_amaya/pseuds/daiyu_amaya
Summary: Obi-wan is tasked with finding out if a group of the super-rich known simply as 'The Crowd' have been a front for the Sith or being used by the Sith. While investigating he becomes entangled with a man referred to as Kemenwati, not knowing the sinister truth behind the man and his presence within 'The Crowd'.The truth, however, is far more complicated and twisted than Obi-wan can guess, it sends him on a spiral of self-loathing and self-discovery.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The Original idea for this story struck me at work where I couldn't write it down :( But, I began working on Diamond Heart and 10,000 words later I began to post! So thank you for clicking on this story, and enjoy!

The force felt warm and vibrant in a way that it normally wasn’t in the crowded room. The ancient and decadent ballroom was a remnant of a past that Coruscant had forsaken, except for the elite. The top percent of the food chain in the mega-city, the few were often called ‘The Crowd’. Aptly named simply for the fact that no one knew who any of them were.

Credits changed hands so often that no one was for sure part of the top percent and it helped that The Crowd had so many credits at their fingertips that no one would figure out their identities and it helped that everyone was masked. Some wore full masks but most had open mouthed masks that showed their lips and chins. It didn’t give away who they were but allowed them to partake in drink and food as these events often lasted hours into the dawn.

The force told Yan Dooku to look closer at the ornate railing, the golden monstrosity of greed and money should have looked beautiful but it was built on the backs of the poor who simply got poorer as time went on as the rich preyed on them, at least on Serenno he could control that kind of greed to a certain extent.

A glint in the force caught his attention and he sighed mentally at the stupidity he found himself having to deal with. Yan knew that Yoda would send in someone to investigate The Crowd, but the old troll had deemed fit to throw Obi-Wan Kenobi into another undercover mission. If Yoda wasn’t mostly in charge of undercover missions Obi-Wan could have very easily been overlooked for undercover missions to The Crowd, but then again he was a master negotiator. Even if it usually ended in disaster these days, not that it was his fault.

Obi-wan wasn’t as familiar with his force signature as he was the younger man’s and It helped that he was also wearing a low-level force inhibitor in the form of a thin golden band that draped across his neck and Jugular notch, it wouldn’t stop him from using the force but it would dull his signature, hide it even better within the dark-side. Obi-wan wouldn’t even know it was him even if he was kissing the younger man.

He paused at the thought, Obi-wan was a very beautiful young man. He would give him credit where it was due, and it had crossed his mind before. Kissing the man, soft touches causing Obi-wan to pant and arch, taking in pleasure he would have denied himself when he took on a padawan, those were simple pleasures when Yan allowed his thoughts to wander.

Thanks to the mask and inhibitor he could possibly get Obi-wan in a compromising position, one that might cause him to allow heated looks, warm caresses, and hidden kisses. Before the man carried out his mission and ran away from such things, and he was certain Obi-wan would second guess himself, would ask himself if he should allow such contact. If it was worth the effort for possible information.

He strolled to Obi-wan’s side as the man looked over guided railing down at the dance floor where many members of The Crowd danced with one another. “Rather drab of them to celebrate while so many die in a war that didn’t even need to be.” Obi-wan turned to him, the mask was fairly plain compared to most of The Crowd’s usual kind, It had an open mouth and chin and Obi-wan had clearly shaved for this. That was a shame, he looked far too young without his beard. His ever-changing eyes, however, were far too old, this war had made him see too much, do too much.

“Some would argue that it was a necessary change in the galaxy.” Dark sides advocate, hm. He hadn’t expected that. “Oh? I see it as a waste, all those lives affected by war for what? The right to be free of a republic that has withstood time? What could possibly be the point?” Obi-wan seemed to contemplate that. “Perhaps they felt that the Republic is far too big and since many of the planets that became part of the separatist movement were far away from the heart of the republic and that they were treated as mere annoyances rather than part of the republic.”

Yan had preyed on that fear, and it was actually a valid one. Many planets didn’t get the attention they deserved and now they were being led around by fear and power. They deserved better than the meager attention his master had told him to give them, the false hope. “Ah, how rude of me. I haven’t introduced myself, I call myself Kemenwati.” Obi-wan nodded; “Ina.”

Yan would help Obi-wan figure out just how much The Crowd actually helped the Sith, he was starting to rebel against his ‘master’. A master who hadn’t really taught him anything new in months and whose plan was starting to fall apart the more he thought about it. An Empire would throw the Sith into the light, and Jedi who survived the culling would be gunning for them or more accurately Palpatine and Skywalker.

He had no doubt’s in his mind as to what Sidious was doing to Skywalker, what he’d been planning for years already. He was a puppet and he needed to shed his masters' strings before his ‘master’ cut the strings himself. Loud laughter caused him to scowl, “Perhaps we could take this conversation somewhere, more quiet?” Obi-wan took a moment to weight that and finally nodded before allowing himself to be led to a ‘quiet spot’.


	2. Chapter 2

The warm mouth pressing insistently against his own tasted faintly of Sapir tea, a warm tongue attempting to coax his to play all the while warm hands explored gently, gliding softly over his sides and force while this felt very good he really needed to get his head straight! He was supposed to be Investigating The Crowd, not making out like a silly teen having snuck into an empty room to explore their body with another for the first time. No, he was a Jedi Master intent on finding out who in The Crowd, if not the whole lot of them were helping out a Sith Lord.

But, this Kemenwati had captured his attention and now...Now the man was making sexual overtures! If he allowed this man to get closer to him, perhaps Kemenwati would become comfortable enough with him that things might slip from his mouth that could lead him to whoever was helping the Sith. But, how close should he let Kemenwati actually get because he would have to play a very dangerous game of standing on a knives edge. Allowing sexual favors, but not allowing them to go too far. Making sure Kemenwati didn’t get bored while at the same time being safe so that he didn’t accidentally piss the man off.

Clearly, he would have to be careful no matter what he did, information about Sith was incredibly hard to come by. Even the Count managed a level of mystery, even though a good portion of his life was known. If Tyranus wasn’t the master as he claimed, then whoever the other Sith was, was a master of staying in the shadows and would be next to impossible to find.

He should have never followed Kemenwati though, it had been obvious if he had been looking that the man wanted to be alone but not to talk politics and Kemen’s tongue down his throat was a testament to that. Yet he hesitated to pull away, he hadn’t been kissed like this since he and Vos got drunk one evening and Vos had proven he most certainly knew how to kiss even while stone cold drunk. That had been years ago however and even though he was Jedi he still had those base instincts, he’d learned to ignore them, however...Yet here he was acting like a blushing virgin, allowing Kemenwati access to his mouth and he inhaled as pleasure swarmed up his hips as Kemen swiped a hand over his crotch, a burning sensation signaling that his body was most certainly enjoying what was happening.

He gently pushed away, and coughed; “I believe we were sidetracked from our conversation?” Kemen snorted; “I believe we were.” But that heated look spoke only of lust, of a desire burning in the other man that wasn’t likely to be quenched with such basic touches. That was more than he’d get again however, Obi-wan couldn’t afford to lose control, especially with a stranger. A stranger who was part of The Crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of My tags was Consensual Non-Consent. The only reason I tagged that was the fact that Obi-Wan didn't exactly give permission for Dooku to shove his tongue down Obi-Wan's throat. And in later chapters, there is touching that isn't exactly consented but not outright Non-Consent. It's a very blurry line and I figured it would be safe to use that tag, Even if I feel like I'm using it wrong :(


	3. Chapter 3

Yan sighed as he took a seat at his kitchen table, Obi-Wan had willingly continued to talk to him even after he’d blundered and shoved his tongue down the younger man’s throat. At least he would be able to approach Obi-Wan again when he came back to another ‘Crowd’ event, maybe even slip him some information he was sure Sidious wouldn’t want Jedi to know, Sidious was aware that he was currently working on The Crowd. A few favors here and there wouldn’t hurt after all from the Coruscant elite.

Sidious would probably think it was a waste of time, but it kept him out of Sidious’ hair so the fool allowed him the time. Yan was going to use his connections any way he could to undermine the damned Sith Lord and make sure that Sidious’ plan wouldn’t come to fruition, there was no way he was going to die because of the Rule of two no matter what Sidious thought. Having Obi-Wan somewhat in on what was happening wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing either, and being able to get away with kissing the younger man didn’t hurt either.

Yan wondered if he could, in fact, get away with kissing Obi-Wan again or if the younger man would deflect him. Though, if Obi-Wan was playing a certain type of persona he might actually manage to get quite a few kisses in between information gathering and handing over. He chuckled, he could imagine doing all sorts of things to Obi-Wan. Warmth tickled at his hips as he thought of Obi-Wan, spread out on his bed begging beautifully to be filled up. A shower turned steamy as Obi-Wan gasped against him, moans echoing off of the walls.

A quiet night in, murmured words and light touches as they drank tea and watched the world bustle outside, uncaring that the sun was setting. Causing Obi-Wan’s hair to glint fiery red, a beautiful look of serenity on his face. So he might have a little bit of a crush on the younger man, highly embarrassing at his age especially on someone so much younger than him! He was Eighty-one now and while he still felt strong. Not as strong as he once had been physically he knew others his age weren’t so fortunate, yet there was no reason he should be lusting after a man who was only thirty-six and no reason why Obi-Wan would ever want anyone his age!

Yan shivered that was at least forty-five years difference between their ages, and while Obi-Wan had trained under Qui-Gon he had never thought of him in a sexual manner thank the Force for that at least. It wasn’t until he’d seen the man on Geonosis that he was struck by Obi-Wan’s power and beauty, and the older Obi-Wan got the more handsome he became which was becoming a problem for him since he wanted to get his hands on the younger man.

Had in fact gotten his hands on Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan ran a little colder than he did which was slightly amusing because Obi-Wan had clearly fought himself to not lean into the warmth. Yan would use that to his advantage to touch as much as he could, yes he was much older but Obi-Wan didn’t know that and yes he really shouldn’t make sexual overtures to Obi-Wan since the man was, in fact, Jedi he really didn’t want to stop either.

Yan sighed and placed his cup down, as conflicted as he was about his feelings on Master Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi he wanted to be able to touch the young man, to interact with him in a manner he had not been able to before this point. He knew how smart Obi-Wan could be, how kind and compassionate. If Obi-Wan ever found out it was him, all the touching and talking would stop and he would be left with a memory that would sting with remorse and pain.

He wouldn’t be getting any other chances to do more with Obi-Wan, this could be his only chance before he died if he couldn’t manage to stop whatever plot Sidious would use against him to preempt his own murder attempt as the Rule of Two dictated. On the upside at least he knew what he wanted and how to get it, bait Obi-Wan with knowledge, help the younger man climb the hierarchy of The Crowd and Obi-Wan would allow touching no doubt, how much he’d be willing to put up with however was another debate.

One he would willingly exploit for as long as he could. Yan smirked down at his teacup, oh yes he could see many things taking place as long as Obi-Wan was desperate enough for the information that he was more than willing to give the younger man at a price. Sure Obi-Wan would start to become suspicious the longer he followed after without giving up on someone who would clearly not have a sexual relationship with him but it was worth it.


	4. Chapter 4

Kemenwati cursed heavily as they were soaked by a passing vehicle, The cold water was unpleasant and it would take ages for him to get to the temple to warm up and into warmer clothes. It was smart of The Crowd to plan events well away from the Jedi temple but it was highly inconvenient. “This way.” Kemen snatched his hand and lightly tugged him closer, clearly leading him somewhere. Did he know somewhere close, The Crowd have a secret place that he didn’t know about but Kemenwati did?

They clattered into an apartment complex and into a lift, Kemen pressing one of the higher floors. Where exactly were they going? Was he going to be alright following Kemenwati like this and if he wasn’t would it compromise his facade? Getting out of the lift Kemen pulled him down the well-lit hallway to a door which he opened with a keycard. A moment later Obi-wan found himself in a rather artfully arranged living room, ancient artifacts dotted the room, several bookcases containing dozens of books. Plants hanging in front of the window where blinds were darkening the room, Kemen turned and smiled at him. “My own place when I’m here on Coruscant, I’ve never brought anyone from The Crowd here before...Guess you're a first for several things I haven’t done while on the world.”

Or Kemenwati wanted him to believe that he had played up the slightly gullible personality so why wouldn’t Kemenwati try that card on him? It was clear this man was lustful and probably had no problem getting others into bed with him, even if his hair was turning snow white. Kemenwati led him through the living room into a bedroom, he paused at the entryway until Kemen had chuckled and taken his hand, leading him into an elegant bathing room. “Is your mask waterproof?” He nodded absently as he marveled at the bathing room, it looked simple at first or at least until you actually looked at it. The white walls were patterned but it was subtle, whoever had made this bathing room had done a wonderful job.

He started when Kemenwati tugged his cloak off and chucked it into a corner, “Ah back with me are you? Good, get out of your wet clothes hm?” Kemen turned and threw his own cloak off before fiddling with the shower’s controls. Obi-wan panicked a little, did Kemenwati want to...Well, he’d already made it obvious that he was sexually interested in him, but he wasn’t going to sleep with the man!

“Ina, what are you doing?” Kemenwati began to tug at his clothes and he mechanically helped, he suddenly felt very uncomfortable nude as the man stripped. Sure, he’d had showers with other people before. There had been plenty of times him and Qui-gon utterly mud-soaked had showered, the taller man definitely getting the better deal and Anakin had accidentally covered both of them in gallons of grease once.

Or the numerous times he’d showered with his team after a particularly dirty campaign. This was different though, none of them wanted him sexually and he would never sleep with any of them. Not that he would sleep with Kemenwati either but this was treading on dangerous grounds. Obi-wan shivering from indecision and cold allowed Kemenwati to pull him into the stall and under the warm spray of water.

Kemenwati let out a sigh; “I hate the rainy season.” Obi-wan snorted; “I just wish people were more careful, otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten all that water dumped on us.” Kemen handed him soap and he suddenly knew where most of Kemenwati’s scent was coming from. Was there a cologne that went with his soap? Or did he even wear cologne, it had always been very subtle. Had he really been getting close enough to smell Kemenwati’s soap rather than his cologne? Kemenwati chuckled; “I have a cologne that goes with it, that’s probably why the scent is familiar to you.”

The man always seemed to be able to read him, or at least when he had stupid questions like the soap. “Ah, I’d wondered.” Kemenwati chuckled and took the soap from his hands. Gently, slowly he pressed the bar against Obi-wan’s side. He nibbled on his lip as Kemenwati washed him down, ignoring anything too intimate and thank force for that. Clearly, the man was simply helping him clean up from the cold and no doubt dirty water.

Would Kemen expect the same treatment? Could he reciprocate? Kemen took that decision out of his hands as the man took the bar to his own skin, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about that. Obi-wan stepped under the spray of honest to the force water, naturally, Kemen had water showers rather than sonics like the lower casts. The temple had its own supply of water that it drew from deep underground that wouldn’t run dry any time soon, so they were at least allowed that.

He relaxed under the spray and then Kemen stepped behind him fully, hands falling to his hips. Obi-wan shifted uncomfortably aware of how close Kemen was to him, and how nude both of them were. “I didn’t think I’d actually manage to get you into the shower with me, I’m surprised honestly.” Had the man expected him to bolt, he wanted to currently and damn it all he really should have been paying more attention, been more on guard against anything Kemenwati could try. Trusting men like Kemenwati was stupid and in many cases downright dangerous.

A light kiss to his shoulder caused his breath to catch in his throat, Kemenwati wouldn’t expect him to…Could he even stop the man if he was really determined? “Relax Ina, I won’t force you if you’re not ready. Just let go, enjoy yourself hm?” Kemenwati did really want to have sex with him, oh force. Kemen ran his hands delicately up and down Obi-wan’s sides trying to get him to relax and slowly he did. Kemen was being gentle and considerate, this wasn’t about lust...Not completely. What else would the older man throw at him to catch him off guard, because he’d expected even with words contrary that Kemenwati would attempt to frip him during this encounter?

Obi-wan gasped as he felt Kemenwati brush his manhood with soft fingers, kisses were pressed against his shoulders and back of his neck. It had been a very long time since he’d even allowed himself to touch, electricity was pulsing in his groin each swipe of Kemen’s fingers causing him to arch. He’d told himself he wouldn’t sleep with Kemenwati...But, getting to know a portion of the man and how terribly exciting it was to have someone's attention the way he had Kemen’s. He was in danger of sliding off a cliff and allowing Kemenwati to get that damned close to him.

Kemenwati turned him, his back pressing against the cool tiles as Kemen kissed him heatedly. The mix of sensations left Obi-wan reeling, he’d never been with anyone like this. Not even Satine, no matter the number of heated glances and quick touches they bestowed on each other. This was...Kemen obviously knew what he was doing, where to touch, when to kiss deeply or gently and his head was spinning suddenly.

He pulled away, “I’m sorry...I can’t.” It was too much, why had he even allowed that? No doubt Kemen would ditch him for easier prey. Kemen nodded; “I understand.” Kemen led him from the shower into fluffy white towels and eventually his own clothes again, a droid had clearly gotten to the clothes as they were dry. “Join me for a cup of tea? We did never finish that conversation about the trade federation.”


	5. Chapter 5

Kemenwati continued to completely confounded him, the man acted like a satyr one moment and then a gentleman. Obi-wan was getting whiplash honestly! Who gives other people their keycard to their apartment for force sake? Especially to people who clearly weren’t willing to have sex with the giver of the card in the first place?

 

And why continue to associate with him? The conversations were interesting and Kemenwati knew so much about so many different topics that he must be a scholar of some sort, not to mention all the artifacts he had in his home away from home. Clearly, Obi-wan wasn’t going to have sex with him, no matter how much his dreams started to haunt him with doing that act and then falling straight into a nightmare of Kemenwati dropping him and then laughing when asked why. Calling him a slut, and asking him why anyone would ever want him other than for sex?

 

He was a Jedi, he couldn’t get attached while on a long-running mission! Kemenwati would eventually never see him again and that would be that his mission over and the man who fascinated him would be out of his reach.

 

“Hello, Coruscant to Obi-wan?” He shook out of his mental rant and glance at Anakin. “And there he is! What in the world are you thinking about over there Obi-wan?” The younger man looked amused, he wouldn’t if he’d known just what Obi-wan had been thinking about. How many times had he told Anakin that attachment was against the rules of the order only to start becoming attached to a man he barely knew let alone understood. “This isn’t going to be an easy campaign.” Something was bothering him about it, or maybe he was just bothered about Kemen still. Honestly, his thoughts should be on Umbara rather than Kemenwati and what he was up to.

 

“A bad feeling?” He shook his head, “I’m not sure...I have a lot on my plate as of late and it could be for any of the numerous things I do these days. Too vague to tell me if it’s even going to be something on this world or not.” Anakin nodded; “Alright then. Well, we’ll just have to plan for the worst-case scenario and do what we can to stop it from being too bad.” Anakin was right, it was time to plan. He would have to think about Kemenwati and his strange behavior some other time.

 

“We have to take the capital, but there will be a heavy fortification to get through not to mention numerous traps, the Umbaran’s have proven to be smart and efficient fighters and we will have to be careful.”

 

* * *

 

He was exhausted, but he had missions that needed attention and gathering intelligence on the Sith and their use of The Crowd was extremely important. The Crowd’s entertainment for the night had bored him, and Kemenwati kept shooting him what seemed to be worried looks all night. When he was finally able to escape Kemenwati caught hold of him and dragged him to the older man’s apartment.

 

“Ina, what is going on with you?” He blinked, how long had he been staring at his tea? “Nothing...Nothing important.” Kemenwati sighed; “You’re clearly distressed about something, not to mention how tired you obviously are.” He waved it off, “Just news that some of my family members died, I wasn’t particularly close to them but it still came as a bit of a surprise.” It had been on him not to notice that something was wrong, that Krell was behaving the way he was. Rex had to deal with it all, no backup, no one to help him and Dogma was the one who was paying the price. 

 

It was his fault for not paying better attention, his bad feeling had almost always come true and thanks to him being all mixed up with Kemenwati he’d ignored it. Assumed that it had nothing to do with Umbara. “You’re taking it very hard for not having been close to them.” What could he say to get the man to back off? Kemenwati raised his hands in surrender; “Alright I’ll leave it alone, but please for the sake of my sanity get some sleep and talk to someone.” Had he glared at Kemenwati? “I’m sorry, I know it’s not fair to take it out on you. I really need to get some sleep.” 

 

Kemen got a devious look in his eyes, “Join me?” His stomach clenched at the thought of them and a bed. “Just to sleep, it wouldn’t be proper to act on carnal desires when your grieving and there is a function with The Crowd in the morning, it wouldn’t hurt to arrive on time for once.”

 

He didn’t even know they did morning meetings, why hadn’t he been aware of that fact before now? “Thank you, but I haven’t got anything…” Kemen snorted, “You can borrow from me, or we could always sleep nude you know.” Obi-wan shifted, biting his lip as heat crept up his cheeks. Kemenwati laughed; “Ah, I’m joking. But, I’m glad you're receptive to that.” and the man left the window seat they had been perched on presumably to get sleepwear for Obi-wan. 

 

Later, after Kemenwati convinced him to actually sleep in the same bed as him. Obi-wan wondered what it would be like to take on a lover if he could separate his emotions from a physical relationship. Kemenwati was being good about it now, but if he continued to turn the man down...How long would it take for him to be cast aside and lose the meager role he’d gained by being at Kemenwati’s side, Kemen was giving him avenues to information he would most certainly not be able to get on his own. Losing that could cost him the investigation, he had to find out exactly what the Sith were up to and who was working for them from The Crowd.

 

An arm wrapped around his waist. “Ina, sleep. Your thoughts will continue to circle later after you’ve gotten some rest.” Obi-wan was pulled against a strong chest and the warmth lulled him into sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The force was warning him that this meeting wasn’t going to be like the others, something deep inside of him shivered at the thought of the force telling him so plainly that things were about to change. Good or bad he didn’t know, but a change was going to happen whether he liked it or not. He used his keycard to enter the dwelling Kemenwati kept, the apartment was as clean and semi-cluttered as it always was, tomes lining the walls, plants capturing the sun in the windows. Paintings and artifacts dotting the room that seemed to change by Kemen’s whim, he moved into the kitchen where Kemen was brewing tea.

“Hard time getting away?” Kemen asked as if he had any actual inkling as to what he’d had to get away from to get here. Kemen didn’t know but he seemed to have an uncanny ability to know when he’d had to struggle to get away from the temple. “Ah, you know how it is, social obligations, familial obligations.” Anakin had been very noisy about where he was going and when he’d told his old padawan it was work related it made him even more suspicious for some reason.

“I’ve never really spent time with the small family I do have, and the few friends I’ve had are long gone from my life,” Kemen said softly, fact but also something longing in the way he’d said it. They were sharing far too much about each other for them to be just dancing around sex...No, Kemenwati was trying to build something with him, and he wasn’t sure if he was willing to allow it. “I have a small family group, they are all very paranoid unfortunately and this new routine of mine is throwing them off.” Kemen nodded; “Will it be an issue?” It could if Mace realized exactly what was going on if Anakin found out that he was toeing the line of the code for a man who was possibly working with the enemy.

They wouldn’t understand and would be disappointed to learn he had fallen into an emotional trap, that he...He might actually love Kemenwati, which only disappointed him currently. He was supposed to be the perfect Jedi Master, council member and yet here he was allowing a man he shouldn’t trust to...To be so intimate with him, mentally, physically. Obi-wan started as a light touch on his shoulder caught his attention. “Is it going to be a problem with your family Ina? Would they frown on what we’ve shared already? Attempt to dissuade you from being with me?”

How much was Kemenwati actually invested in him? How much of his true self had he actually shared, neither of them had shared their faces after all. Obi-wan because he was far too recognizable but what about Kemen? Why did he continue to hide his face, what could he be hiding and could he actually care about Obi-wan as he did Kemen? Obi-wan would have to make a choice at some point, the order and its needs over Kemen, it would always be the order for him, even if he was currently flaunting the rules. “I’m sure they would if they knew what was happening.”

Kemen chuckled lightly and pulled him closer, “I’m sure they’d try, but would you let them separate us?” He leaned into Kemen and let out a breath; “That’s a hard choice, I love my family and loath to do anything to ruin my relationship with them but…” He left the words unsaid but he was sure Kemen caught on to what he wasn’t saying. “Ina.” The kiss Kemen initiated was sweet, soft and unlike any of the ones they had shared before, he groaned, body pressing against Kemen’s who hefted him up. His legs wrapping around the man's waist in an attempt not to fall on his face.

Kemen gently laid Obi-wan on the bed and looked down at him. He shivered at the look Kemen was giving him, this was new. He’d seen the lust in Kemenwati’s eyes before but this was a new level. Kemen tossed his tunic off, eyeing Obi-wan. Seeing what he would do, and Force he wanted Kemen...Wanted to lay naked with the man, maybe more. Kemen wouldn’t force him of that he was sure but would Kemen be disappointed if they didn’t have sex?

Obi-wan tossed aside his own tunic and bit his lip as Kemen took that as a sign that Obi-Wan would be comfortable enough to be nude. He wasn’t exactly sure where Kemen threw his pants, but then Kemen was touching him and Obi-wan could care less where his pants had gone off to. “Kemen!” No one had ever touched him inside like this before, oh force that felt odd. Kemen’s fingers were dipping inside of him, teasing clearly by the smirk on the older man’s face.

“You look beautiful like this, trembling on my fingers in need.” He shifted causing those wonderful fingers to move. “Ah, I don’t want to hear that.” Kemen laughed and tossed away the rest of his own clothes; “You’ll look even more beautiful in a moment, I’ve wanted to watch you squirm with pleasure for far too long.” He was pretty sure his face had gone beet red at Kemen’s words. Kemen pressed muscular thighs between his legs and he allowed Kemen to adjust him. His face felt like it was on fire, his legs wrapped around Kemen’s waist ankles crossed.

Obi-wan trembled as his lover lined up with him, he’d never had penetrative sex before and he was starting to feel very nervous. “Kemenwati…” The man murmured soothing words as he slowly pressed in. It felt different than the fingers, hotter for one and force was it really going inside of him? A cry broke out of Obi-wan’s mouth before he could stop himself and Kemen paused. The strength of will to stop like that...He relaxed, the sharp pain dulling down.

“All, alright.” Kemen chuckled and pressed kisses to his face. Before driving deeper into his body. The pain slowly morphed into pleasure and force this felt so good, he shouldn’t be doing this. Obi-wan was going against everything he’d been taught, everything he’d taught Anakin...Kemen brushed against his insides just so and Obi-wan gasped at the surge of pleasure it gave him. The feeling of digging his heels into Kemens back was amplified by the pleasure tingling across his skin, the hot brush of a mouth against his.

He couldn’t hold on much longer and let out a cry, Kemen held him as Obi-wan quivered coming down from his high. “Obi-wan.” The word as Kemenwati came jolted him, oh. Oh no. He pushed away from Kamenwati, who knew who he really was and he’d just...Obi-wan felt shame wash over him. “Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Obi-wan snarled pain pushing through him. “To tell me you knew who I was? To frip me and then toss me away because I was dumb enough to.” He cut himself off and marched away to where his clothes had been flung. Thoughts circling his mind, the shame and self-loathing taking a front seat.

Kemenwati grabbed his wrist, “I was afraid to tell you who I was, and I’ve known it was you from the start…” Obi-wan whirled around, eyes narrowed. How had Kamenwati known it was him from the beginning? “Are you working with the Sith?” Kamenwati let out a distorted snort, and finally. After months of this game, he had been playing took his mask off. Obi-wan felt his heart stutter, his breath catching in his throat, he suddenly felt distant from his body. When he came back to himself, he was back in the bed where he’d let… Obi-wan closed his eyes, he’d let the leader of the sepertisit frip him. The count of Serenno, a Sith Lord...Darth Tyranus, Count Dooku former Jedi master…

How could he have allowed this to happen? Why hadn’t he realized it was him this whole time? Obi-wan hadn’t really been around the man when he was a Jedi, but surely he would have recognized his force signature. But, he’d felt hardly a hint of force power and so he’d relaxed. Dooku must have been wearing a dark-side trick or an inhibitor of some sort for Obi-wan to not notice. He sat up and winced at the sting of pain up his spine, he’d had worse from the count. But never this kind of betrayal. Why would the man do this? It wasn’t like him, hell becoming Sith hadn’t seemed like him either but he’d gone and done that hadn’t he? So what had this been? A way to humiliate Obi-wan or had it been something else?

Obi-wan slid out of bed and entered the bathing room. Warm water washing away his indiscretion, how could he have done this? It was against the code to become attached to another and he’d not only become attached to another. He’d become attached to the enemy, he shivered at the scent of the soap remembering the last time he’d been in the shower here. Eventually, he stepped out and got dressed, he had to get back to the temple.

Dooku was no doubt long gone, pain clenched his heart at the thought of the man having left. But, it was for the better. He obviously couldn’t be trusted to be near him anymore. He’d essentially betrayed everyone, tears trickled down his cheeks. He had allowed an enemy to distract him from his mission, allowing an enemy into his mind and body. Make him feel things he’d only felt the stirrings of before. He’d fallen in love with ‘Kemenwati’ and to find out that it had all been a trick, Dooku had played him so well. Why then had the man called him by name then?

What could he gain from revealing himself? The answer was alluding Obi-wan currently, he passed into the living room and paused. A flimsi lay on the table, but he couldn’t look. He didn’t want to know what it said. He just wanted to leave, he’d done something so incredibly stupid and yet… Yet his stupid heart longed for Kemenwati who didn’t even exist. 


	7. Chapter 7

He couldn’t help what his body remembered, couldn’t help what his mind looped on him. And couldn’t help that he showed up to this place again. It was abandoned feeling, like walking into the ghost of a life. One he had shared, a beautiful lie that he’d wanted to believe and had shattered him in ways he hadn’t known he could be shattered. Was that why Yoda always preached about attachment leading to the dark side? The pain and self-loathing causing such disharmony?

 

He settled in the bed, It still smelled of Kemenwati...of Yan, the cologne he wore. It was both soothing and terribly sad, he’d fallen in love with a man who he should have never given himself to. A man who could have just used him, but hadn’t. Not the way he could have, he’d even helped in the investigation. Not by much but enough to think he had nothing to do with Sith and the dark side. 

 

Obi-wan had been horribly mistaken, Yan Dooku was Sith and had tried to kill him and his padawan...Hadn’t he? There was no doubt he was a powerful man, his skill with a lightsaber legendary. How had they survived, had Yan spared them on purpose and if that was the case why? Why had Yan taken him in the way he had? It was like a part of him had been torn away, a part of his heart he didn’t know he still had to give. Tears pooled on his neck and he hastily swiped them away, Just because he had to pick up the broken pieces he’d found didn’t mean he could fall into negative emotions, he had to put them to the force. Had to act like a Jedi for kriff-sake. 

Pain tore through him, however, thinking of throwing everything to the force, to dull the love he’d felt for Kemenwati, Yan. He’d loved and lost, Losing Satine had been...Dulled thanks to the way he’d begin to feel for Yan, her lost still shattered his heart but not in the same manner as Yan revealing himself. Obi-wan shifted pulling the blanket closer, the shock alone...Yan could have taken advantage of him fainting if he were Sith he would have. So, why hadn’t Yan captured him? Used his feelings against him and tortured him?

 

None of this made any sense to him either, why had Yan allowed this to happen? Surely the other man was using him, keeping him from whatever it had been Yan was doing on Coruscant...The brushes of his hand, the warmth of Yan’s hand on his back guiding him through The Crowd, the heated looks, passionate kisses. He shuddered, it was over. Yan had left and whatever dark thing he’d been planning obviously complete, leaving Obi-wan a fool for having had any sort of feelings.


	8. Chapter 8

Obi-wan felt shame lance through him, he’d abandoned his own rooms to come here in the middle of the night cycle. Nothing had changed since he left the apartment he’d grown used to as he visited Kemenwati...Dooku. There was the flimsi he’d ignored last several times he had come, would it hurt to read whatever it was Dooku wrote? He picked it up, it only had a few words. The date, this date. Why had he come here? He should leave, Dooku could have been planning a trap for him today. He let the paper float back down to the table and made his way to the kitchen, a cup of tea wouldn’t hurt. Obi-wan doubted the count had laced the tea with anything.

 

He steeped his tea and settled into the window seat, it wasn’t quite the same without Kemenwati sitting on the other side talking about any of the dozen of things he seemed to know. How odd it was now to know that he’d been wooed by a man who had for all intents and purposes watched him grow up. A man who had watched his padawan grow up to be Obi-wan’s master, wasn’t that an odd thought? He’d fallen in love with his grandmaster...Could he have fallen in love with him if he’d stayed a Jedi?  

 

“I wasn’t sure you would come.” Dooku looked almost out of sorts as if he were seeing a ghost. “I didn’t read your note until tonight...I thought about leaving.” Dooku draped his cloak across a kitchen chair and went about making his own cup of tea. “You never drink the Serrenoan blend.” Dooku commented lightly and Obi-wan sighed; “I missed you.” It was all he had, he wouldn’t lie about the way the man had made him feel. Even if it had all been a lie, a clever ruse to get him killed in the end. Obi-wan tilted his head back against the wall, feeling more than seeing when the count sat across from him. 

 

“I never meant for it to get this far...I figured that if I let go, allow myself something I had thought in passing before you would eventually push me away. Instead, we only grew closer.” Too close, and he’d paid the price of trusting anyone from ‘The Crowd’. Obviously, Dooku had some strange notions if he’d thought of any of the things they had shared. “What exactly did you think of in passing? Betraying me by lying to me this whole time, making me look like an utter fool for caring about you, while you knew we were enemies?” Dooku sighed, eyes dulling.

 

“Those were things I didn’t want to think about the closer I got to you...The things I wanted to pretend wouldn’t happen. It should have stayed in my head, I should have never put you in that position, to begin with. It was obvious you were humoring me at first, and yet...I wanted more, I wanted the things I’d begin to think of after I initiated.” Obi-wan wasn’t sure what to think about the confession, clearly, Dooku had gotten over his head with whatever his plan had been.

 

“What happens now?” Dooku leaned back, “That depends.” Cryptic as always, but then again he was Sith and there were still so many unsaid things between them. Not even for just this particular brand of stupidity from both of them. Qui-Gon’s death, Dooku leaving the order...Become Sith. How broken Obi-wan had become while at the same time trying to stay together for Anakin. “You were different with me when I didn’t know it was you.” Dooku tilted his head in acknowledgment. “I have always cared about what happened to you, it was different before. Before Qui-gon left us before you grew up into a fine Jedi. Before you grew up into the man you are.”

 

When had it changed from a familiar kind of love, the love a grandmaster had for their grand-padawan to lust? Why had it changed when he left, was it because he was allowing himself to look back and wonder what if? Or had the dark side warped him so much that any love he’d felt either turned to hate or lust?

 

“You’re going to kill me aren’t you. Now that I’m weak...Now that I don’t know if I can kill you if I need to.” Yan closed his eyes, a weary look on his face. “No. I’m not going to...Because I can’t kill you either. Not when I love you the way I do.” Obi-wan stood and set his teacup on the counter. “You fooled me once, you won’t do so again.”


	9. Chapter 9

Mace knew the spy was in the room and adjourned the meeting the other Council members obviously curious about their visitor. “Obi-Wan stay behind.” Kenobi sagged in his chair, the dark circles under his eyes far too heavy lately. When everyone else was gone Mace commented to his spy. “I take that this visit is about The Crowd Master Spy?” The man snorted and took a seat himself, his hood still drawn up.

“About Kenobi actually.” Mace frowned at his Spymaster, honestly. What had Obi-Wan done now? “Oh? Do enlighten me on what Obi-Wan’s done now.” Obi-Wan was frowning, clearly not sure what a spy would have to say about him. But they had been working on the same thing just from different ends, The chancellor had his own spies who had told him that there was odd activity and he had told the Council. They had to act so he had sent Obi-Wan, hoping that The Jedi spymaster would be able to avoid detection and still pass information to Obi-Wan.

“He formed an attachment to a member of The Crowd.” Obi-Wan bolted upright, eyes wide. “That is a serious accusation!” Obi-Wan barked out, traces of weariness making themselves known. Mace agreed that was a serious accusation as attachment was heavily frowned on in the order, it wouldn’t be the first time Obi-Wan had become attached though, Satine Kryze was the first Mace knew of but had found out about possible other attachments. “And what proof do you have of this supposed attachment Master Spy?” The man took a steading breath which was unlike the older master, was he nervous about outting Obi-Wan and his attachment? Why would he be nervous about something that had nothing to do with him?

“My proof is that I am aware it is Count Dooku of Serenno.” That certainly got Obi-Wan’s attention as he flew out of his seat a howl of outrage bursting out of his mouth, but the Master Spy stayed seated, acting completely calm about such claims. Mace had a million questions running through his head, but he could only think to voice one. “Does the count feel the same way, is it mutual attachment?”

Obi-Wan huffed and flopped back into his seat, his rage spent. His signature showing clear indications of his exhaustion and Mace realized sadness. How long had the affair been, because Obi-Wan was clearly emotional about being outed the way he had been, had Obi-Wan learned to care for the older man and how had he even found out that Dooku had been the one they suspected of making moves in The Crowd? He had not been informed of that, so Dooku would have had to be unmasked if Obi-Wan knew it was him that he’d grown attached to.

“Yes, the attachment was mutual. The Count acted completely out of character when he was around Master Kenobi, and seemed devastated when Master Kenobi was no longer interacting with him.” A bitterness flew so quickly over Obi-Wan’s face Mace could have missed it if he hadn’t been looking at the man, if he wasn’t friends with him. “No, it wasn’t mutual Master Spy. He was using me, blinding me from what he was actually doing with The Crowd.”

The spy stiffened at his side, as if the words were a physical blow. But, it wasn’t exactly smart to tell Obi-Wan who the Master Spy was, or how the spy would have found out about the affair. That would be an epic fight that Mace wanted absolutely no part of, Obi-Wan would not take kindly to the Spy Master after he found out the truth of how this man was learning the information he spoke of. It also wouldn’t do the order any good as well, they had been hiding this Spymaster for years even from other Jedi and to lose him now would be detrimental to their war against the Sith.

“I believe Master Windu that we have gathered all we need to stop Darth Sidious, and while it is important for me to keep my identity. Telling the rest of the council is now appropriate.” So that’s why the man had willingly come to the temple and shown himself to the council, not to mention starting a fight with Obi-Wan at that. “Yes, I would like to face my accuser.” Obi-Wan growled, eyes a dark blue that Mace hadn’t seen in a long time, Obi-Wan was still furious it seemed.

“I suppose I really have no choice.” His Spy snorted, a sound very distorted by his vocoder. “You are the master of the Order, if you chose to keep me hidden that is your choice.” So, while it was made to look like he had a choice he didn’t. “I’m not stupid, I know what game you're playing.” The man let out a sigh, it sounded almost wishful. “I never said you were stupid. It really is your choice to keep me hidden, but I wanted the Council to know before I die.”

He wasn’t going to die. Sidious would only kill him if the Sith Lord found out his faithful apprentice had been going behind his back and giving the Jedi Order information, Helping to get all the chips removed from the clones and talking with Skywalker. Mace was unsure of what exactly his spy master and Skywalker spoke of, but he had seen a marked difference in Skywalker as of late. “First off, if we can help it you won’t be part of the group to confront Sidious and second off don’t think for a moment that we would just allow everyone to think you weren’t a Jedi who had to put up with a lot of shit.”

Dooku’s laughter was eerie given the Vocoder, but Mace could see the delighted amusement in his faint force signature. It was good to know that the inhibitor he wore worked well enough that if it hadn’t been for all the meetings between them Mace wouldn’t have been able to notice the signature. Obi-Wan was hunched in his seat now, eyes peering out one of the massive windows of the Council chambers. “If you’re done with me I’d like to leave. I have much work to get done.” No, he was not done with Obi-Wan in the slightest. “No I’m not done with your mopy ass yet. When were you going to tell me about getting attached to Dooku?”

Obi-Wan sighed, eyes still not meeting his and damned it all Obi-Wan did not get to mope anymore now that Mace knew the reason! “Never. I would have never told you Mace because I never wanted to be banished from the order.” Now that he could understand, the order meant so much to Obi-Wan. So much that he would die for the order or attempt to live a hundred years to finish one last task from the order. He didn’t want to see that future happen, Obi-Wan had felt empty in that vision. Like he had been all used up and was ready to move into the force at any second.

“That’s not very smart, you know I would have hounded you until you told me what the kriff was going on with you. I wouldn’t let it go and we both know it.” Obi-Wan nodded, and let out a breath. “I’m sorry old friend, I just didn’t want to have to leave and it’s not like it matters anymore. I realized the error of my ways, I didn’t know it was him until he showed his hand and left. I won’t let him trick me again, any love I might have had for him…”

Obi-Wan shook his head and pressed his palms to his eyes, stanching tears perhaps? “It died when I realized he was just using me. It won’t be a problem anymore.” Yan Dooku's signature as faint as it was lit with pain and Mace flinched away not wanting to feel it. It was horribly intense but he had been the one who somehow messed up. “How about one of the orders Master Spies tells you what he thinks about that?” Obi-Wan shrugged almost in an uncaring manner. Something rather unlike him, when had Obi-Wan grown so use to pain that he would be able to make light of it and why hadn’t he noticed it before?

“Go ahead tell me how wrong I was for getting attached, it doesn't matter to me anymore.” Yan snarled and stood, ripping the Vocoder from his face and throwing his hood back. A look of malice on his face, as if he were truly a sith Lord intent on murdering Jedi, of wiping them from history itself.

“Oh yes Because I want to hear how much you could care less about me! I wasn’t using you Obi-Wan, I fell in love with you!” Obi-Wan had jumped to his feet when the vocoder smashed into the floor and his jaw dropped at the sight of Yan Dooku and his furious rant. “I..You. I’m dreaming. This can’t be.” Mace snorted; “Nope this is real, Master Dooku has been a spy for a very long time. This time we had to make it look like he left the order however, so that we could possibly lure a Sith to him.”

He wanted to know how the kriff Obi-Wan and Yan had fallen in love with each other, because that was the last thing he, Mace Windu master of the Jedi order thought he would have to deal with. No the whole thing was an utter mess and Obi-Wan looked faint! Mace rushed out of his chair as Obi-Wan’s eyes rolled back but Yan caught Obi-Wan before the younger man could smash his head on the chair behind him or the floor. “Well, that went better than I expected it would.” Yan snorted, bright brown eyes brimming with amusement; “Better? He fainted!” Mace laughed, he couldn’t help himself. Obi-Wan did always manage to over do everything after all. “Yes, I know. But, he’s been under a lot of stress as of late, can you blame him for fainting at the sight of you in the Council chambers declaring your love for him?”

Yan rearranged Obi-Wan in his chair and took a step back, unsure of what to do. “I suppose I should leave, we have work to still do...Palpatine won’t be expecting anything to happen to him yet.” Mace nodded; “Stay in the temple tonight, in the morning we will talk of plans to confront Palpatine and I’m sure you will want to be close enough to know when it is over. That and Obi-Wan will no doubt have questions.”

Obi-Wan was always full of questions, and this whole mess would no doubt get him to ask a million and one. “By the way, what have you and Skywalker been talking about? He’s acting different.” The older Jedi looked amused; “About challenging the council about attachment and calling for a change to the code. We’ve been working on what to say, and what not to say.” Shit. “So, his attachment to Amidala and yours to Obi-Wan.” Yan nodded, eyes softening as he looked down at Obi-Wan. “It. When I was with Obi-Wan, even just sitting drinking tea with him. It would banish the darkness that rose in me thanks to my time pretending to be an apprentice. I would feel lighter, more hopeful about the future and my role in it.”

Yan and Obi-Wan were older though, they understood that their duty to the order was to be over their love for each other. Skywalker and his wife on the other hand, they were young and did whatever they wanted to. “Skywalker’s case is different than yours, he willfully chose to ignore the code and married. Neither of you meant to fall in love, and your not married either, so you have a chance.” Yan looked confused for a moment; “You’ve been talking to the others about this already.” Mace dipped his head in acknowledgement, “I have thanks to Master Mundi, because of his unique position he was able to talk to me about the code and what it meant to be able to marry but not be apart of his family’s lives.”

While it was forbidden the council had ignored Skywalker being married, but with the war fast closing they would have to have a serious conversation about attachment. Not just the romantic kind either, several generals had made mention that they would leave with their ‘sons’. The fett clones cared deeply also for their generals, so the rules of attachment needed to be reassessed. “I want to say that neither of you would be banished but honestly with our policy of non attachment...There is a very real chance that both of you will be.”

Yan sighed; “Obi-Wan would very easily drop me to stay in the order. I don’t know if I can say the same.” That might allow Obi-Wan to stay in the order, but it would cause him more harm in the long run...Mace had seen what Satine’s death had done to Obi-Wan, seen the utter hopelessness in his eyes. “I hope that if it came to banishment you would convince Obi-Wan to come with you.” Yan recoiled; “If you banish him Mace he would learn to hate me, he might fall.” After the shatter points he’d seen it wasn’t that likely that Obi-Wan would, how many years did he wait to finish what he’d started...How long had he stayed in that desert?

“I don’t believe we will punish him that severely or you for that matter. But, honestly we just don’t have any set punishments for attachment because it’s different for every person who breaks it, but you knew that already..” Yan nodded; “I did, but the last time someone was attached to the level that I am to Obi-Wan was banished.” That was long before Mace was on the council, and he wasn’t even sure whom that had been. “I suppose that the only punishment that we can come up with for the two of you is to tell you to stop. But, I don’t believe either of you will. So don’t get caught.”

Yan looked so utterly caught off guard that Mace smiled at the older man. “I don’t understand.”  
Mace snorted; “You didn’t tell me about anyone attached to anyone, you simply told me about Sidious and Obi-Wan was getting a tongue lashing about his lack of sleep as of late, and thanks to him being stubborn passed out.” It was the only thing he could do to save Obi-Wan from having to choose between Yan and the Order, When Yan helped Anakin with changing the attachment rule he would have to be careful to not give a real reason why he was helping.

“Than Goodnight Master Windu.” Yan bowed and picked Obi-Wan up; “I’m assuming he stayed in Qui-Gon’s old rooms?” Obi-Wan had been allowed too many attachments. “Of course, I doubt anyone would have been able to remove him.” 


	10. Chapter 10

Obi-Wan let out a breath as opened his eyes, his wardrobe in his sight. So someone had brought him back to his rooms...Normally he would have been sent to the healing halls, but it could have just been because he’d only been shocked...Yan, Master Dooku was a spy. Then what had the man been thinking to pursue him, to get him to be attached? Obi-Wan frowned at the short bark of laughter somewhere in the rooms he still had. Anakin, but who was he talking to him and why were they allowed into his rooms?

He pulled himself out of bed and heaved a sigh, this could be the last time he was in these rooms. The last time he could call himself a Jedi Master...He walked out of his rooms and into the kitchen where he heard voices and found Yan leaning against the counter while Anakin sat at the small table. Both had steaming cups, The over-power scent of caff lingering in the room. “What did Obi-Wan do then?” Yan snorted; “Naturally he lectured Qui-Gon on being so stupid.” Anakin laughed and Yan gave a chuckle. “I told Qui-Gon he had finally met his match with his new padawan, that he would never be able to get away with such boneheaded tactics.” Qui-Gon had still managed to end up making plenty of odd choices, not all of them successful at first but they allowed him time to think.

“And yet he continued to do whatever he felt was necessary.” Yan stiffened and Anakin smiled. “Good morning Obi-Wan!” He nodded to his old padawan. “Exactly how did my kitchen become a meeting place?” Anakin snorted; “He brought you to your rooms because you fainted from overwork again.” Yan frowned, had he not known that Obi-Wan had fainted before. Clearly, Qui-Gon had not managed to teach him restraint, but that was a topic for another day. “Again? How many times has he fainted like that?” Anakin shrugged, trying to play like it wasn’t a big deal to him.

They had already fought too much about how he was losing sleep but this was war, Obi-Wan wasn’t going to get peaceful sleep...Why try when he could just be working on new tactics and plans? “Enough that it doesn’t actually surprise me anymore.” Obi-Wan frowned, an idea actually coming to mind; “Wait, why aren’t you surprised he’s here or anything?” Anakin snorted; “Because the Master Spy here got ran over by me and Mace reamed me a new one.”

So Anakin had been aware that Yan was a Jedi still. “But when was that because normally you blurt all sorts of information out to me.” Anakin turned red. “There are a few things I don’t tell you, and Mace told me if I told anyone, and he meant anyone he would personally make sure that I never saw the light of day again.” And Mace was scary when he was actually being threatening. “I have things to talk to Master Dooku about, would you mind?” Anakin shook his head; “That's fine I figured the two of you had a lot of catching up to do.”

Once Anakin was gone he brewed some tea, his heart felt like it was pounding in his chest at a million miles per hour. “Mace told me that he hadn’t heard anything about attachment, so if you want to pretend that conversation didn’t take place…” Mace wouldn’t do that, he was strict with the rules for the most part and that was such an important one. “Why would he say that.” Yan snorted; “Did you forget your friends with the man? He knew something, must have seen something in one of his shatterpoints that warned him to make sure you stayed in the order.”

Whatever the reason it was better this way, he couldn’t just be attached to someone. Couldn’t lose control the way he had already, not again. “I suppose you want to know where we stand?” Yan shook his head; “I know where we stand Obi-Wan, you will always choose the order above all else.” But, did he really want to lose what he’d had? Yes, attachment was forbidden but he’d truly come to care for Yan and he was throwing that away if he let Yan go now. It was one or the other unless he wanted to hide for the rest of his life, to lie and covet what he had. No, he might have been somewhat conflicted but he wouldn’t hide how he felt.

“And what do you want?” Yan set his cup down on the countertop. “What makes you happy, that’s all I want even if it hurts I’ll be aware you’re where your happiest. Where you belong, being a wonderful Jedi Master.” Obi-Wan was very aware he wasn’t a good Jedi, that he would always struggle to do what was best as a Jedi. But, it hurt to hear Yan’s pain. To know that he was the cause of that pain and then to know that if he did nothing he would regret it.

“What if I don’t want you to want that?” Yan suddenly got a look of concern on his face; “Obi-Wan, you can’t make me stop caring about you. If it bothers you I won’t speak of it ever again, but I can’t just stop.” That wasn’t what he’d been thinking, Yan was clearly thinking that He would never break the rules if he could help it but here he was thinking about what it would mean to break the rules for this man. “I don’t want to forget what we shared.” Yan shivered; “Obi-Wan, I. I don’t want to make you hide if anyone were to find out that I was with you they would have to punish us harshly, you’re on the Council for force sake.”

He was, but it didn’t mean that he couldn’t wish for something different. “If they find out, and it’s not really anyone’s business what I do in my spare time. All anyone else other than Mace will see is a master getting along with his great padawan and great-great padawan.” Yan snorted; “You do realize that sounded horribly wrong.” Obi-Wan chuckled, it had and yet that was their truth. “And yet I love you all the same. Grandmaster.” Yan rolled his eyes and pulled Obi-Wan into an embrace; “Imp.” Obi-Wan smiled and pressed closer. “Always.”


End file.
